MOVED! PLEASE VISIT OBSCURE THOUGHTS OF TOMATO

Hi there..i have decided to revive my old site..at www.obscure-thoughts.blogspot.com ..so feel free to dorp by. thanks

Welcome to the world Christian

...my nephew is finally born ...2am malaysian time 18/11/05...(2pm 17/11/05 local time). :D I am suddenly the happiest uncle in the world!

The May 13th Incident

To many of us of this generation, The May 13th Incident seems to be a long lost distant memory. Well, most of us under the age of 30 were not born when the supposedly riot occured. Nor the event was well-publicized in an objective and accountable manner. Most of the description of the May 13th incident came in the form of narration from politicians of that era who they themselves have vested interest in the perceived history. In fact, our naviety would extend to the point that one particular Member of the Parliament (Jerai MP) decided to wave a copy of a memoir regarding the May 13th Incident when he tried to make a point regarding Malay power.

May 13th 1969. It will always intrigued me, and living nearly 35 yrs later means i won't be able to gauge the actual story behind that event. My recent personal experience with government propoganda has led me to believe that the majority of our politicians still use the May 13th as a scare tool in the name of political stability. Most of our affirmative action policies seems from the early years after the May 13th Incident, including the much-hated NEP (DEB) and other social engineering policies.

There were many controversies related to the May 13th Incident. The official story proclaimed that non-Malays opposition parties and PAS, have moved to incite the Malay and taunted its new-found power. There were claims that Chinese have slaughtered Malays and vice versa. One of the more 'interesting' claim i heard was that a soldier and his pregnant wife were brutally murdered in a cinema in Kuala Lumpur. Well, I have no idea how true or untrue such claims are, but that's certainly the storyline we all are familiar with.

The untold story was however the fact that there have been growing dissents and disintegration within the Malaysian's society then. The exit of Singapore from the federation of Malaysia in 1965 had angered many Chinese, who saw their political voting power went from 46% of the population, to merely 33%. Many Malays were also disillustioned with the hardship of their life. We were also not told that in the 1969 election, the Alliance has lost control (or very nearly) of several states including Penang, Perak, Kelantan, Terrenganu, Sarawak and Selangor (including KL). That's nearly half the country. Many new political parties such as DAP & Gerakan gained huge support and were seen as the alternative government option. DAP did really well to win 13 parlimentary and 31 states seats.

There's certainly a lot of untold stories behind this incident. We may have been told the whole lot, or we may have been told what someone think we need to know. Or in fact, we may be told a whole lot of distorted truth (note: distorted truth means the facts are presented in a misleading way).

We as Malaysian may seem to have learn from it,or have we?

PS: i feel like writing this entry after reading several books from 1970s regarding the Incident. I think books written beyond 1970s no longer have the accuracy or credibility to describe what actually happened.

Rational thoughts

It's Sept 26 today (or yesterday)...Little i realized, about 3 yrs ago and 4 days ago..22nd Septh 2002 to be exact, I arrived here in Christchurch, with nothing but a large bright green suitcase. I still vividly remember the experience of running across Auckland international and domestic terminal. Not to mention those few first moments of being in a totally foreign country. I remember clearly when Mike the RA (he is still a RA here!) brought us to the local hypermarket (countdown) 9pm at night. Most of us arrived without much supplies. I remember calling my parents that very day, ate my first dining hall dinner, and happily settled down into my quiet spacious room in Alpers (a residential block).

Hmm, fast forward today. 26th Septh 2005...life hasn't changed much. I have of course gained couple of kilogrammes, claimed to learn a few more things regarding civil engineering and economics, and knew a whole bunch of friends here. Life is great..life is going on..but has anything changed since I got here? Am I a different person? I still speak that horrible Malaysian-slang english. My malay & cantonese are just as the same. My mandarin failed to improve despite my efforts to talk to mainland Chinese. I am still poor, and hopefully humble. I still got nothing to show for.

I remember that sometime back in my life, when i am still young and naive, i always tell myself that i want to be a self made millionaire when i am 23. Well, i am 22 approaching 23, and my bank account has less than 10k. With my immediate plans, i don't see myself earning anything for the next 1-3 years. So, does that mean my perspective and aspiration in life change? Do i not yearn for money and materialistic achievement? Have i been nulified by the slow pace of Christchurch, that i actually enjoy Norah Jones's blues and a walk in the park? As my time here in NZ increases, I got a feeling that a part of my original me is gone.

Is it gone? Or have i changed? I still remember some of my life goals and aspiration. But do they apply to me today as they were many years back? Can people change what they want in life? I think I am approaching this state, where multiple personalities and mindsets come into my mind and play with it. I am confused in a moment, and crystal clear in another moment. Occasionaly i know what i am doing and i am really absorbed into it. Sometimes i would just sit around doing nothing, trying to figure what i am doing. AM i lost?

Perhaps...obviously there are no answers to my questions. Writing it out here, just another avenue for me to say out things in my mind that ...i don't have time to discuss with my close ones.

Plus, I am a little depressed of my particular situation at the moment. With projects and exams deadline piling up, i can fall into the pitfall of emotional breakdown. But then i remember once telling someone this: "Life achievement is not about what you achieve in the end. One's greatest achievement is always what he or she can do to lift themselves out of a hole, and achieve what is unexpected of them." Without falling down...what's the meaning of standing up? Without failing, where's the sweetness in victory?

I think I am rambling a little too much. It's getting a little irrational too, which is a paradox, considering my blog is entitled Rational Thinking.

Well..this is my rational world. Thanks for reading.

Mooncake Festival

Hi,

It's me again. I hope you are diong well. How did your mooncake festival goes? Did you have fun? It is one of those time of the year where you wish you are at home, and with your family or friends right? Guess it's all the same for all of us.

For those of us who are living overseas, mooncake festival, or chinese new year will tend to remind us of home. Remind us of the good ol' days with brother and sisters all still around. If I am not mistaken, one of my fondest memory was of a mooncake festival. This is partially got to do with the fact that my late grandmother and my dad 's birthday are all around this time of the year. How coincidental. In the past, family members would gather and celebrate in a big big way...very colourful, very noisy..and certainly very merry.

Well, I am not sure whether I had a great 'mooncake festival'. I didn't have any mooncakes to shout with. I didn't play lanterns (well, Malaysians got this funny tradition of playing lanterns both in chinese new year n mooncake festival). But what hurts the most is probably when I didn't get to be part of a larger festival. Guess, that's what it means in the first place right? To be in a joyful merry celebration. Festival - according to Webster dictionary - a time or day of feasting or celebration, merrymaking, joyful celebration. Nevertheless, i am glad everyone did had a great time in their own spaces.

Oh well, in that sense, i did had a great time actually, with some close friends. I was working that night. Plus, someone cooked dinner....and that was some feast. As a matter of fact, I was happy most of the time (i think i gave the impression that i wasn't happy in the previous paragraph). So, whether it's a great mooncake festival or not, i guess it doesn't really matter. Retrospectively speaking, I would still do the same thing given other option. Human, unlike other persistent creatures, needs options and choices to keep us happy. Not that we are goign to make those choices, but to have the choice..and the chance. So, boys and girls, cows and elephants, monkeys and zebras...let's us all slow down our busy spin in the superhighway of life, and enjoy some moments in life that doesn't always come by.

Good bye for now. Have a great week ahead. I have another busy week ahead (as usual).

Regards,

ME

What's in a name?

What's in a name? For roses in any other name would have smelled as sweet.

Ancient people used to be really proud of their names. Warlords have their names craved on the large wooden (or stone) blocks, and placed up high at their forts. People paid good money to have their names listed in the classified, so that some strangers might call them up for sex. Anyway...what's with 21st centuries human being, that we shy away from using our real names?

Yeah, I am referring to blog. and Yup, me too..i don't put my names here...anymore. My opinion is, human is getting too skeptical, too frightened, too cynical. Everything must be treated with some level of fear. Good-natured people who expect everyone else to be as nice as them will only get shit.

GUEST BLOGGER: What's TIME?

Yup..my first 'guest blogger'. However, i do admit that multidimid only posted this as a comment to my previous entry...however the depth of his/her comments is so profound, i find it imperative to post it here. I hope he/she doesn't mind!

multidimid said...

"For those of us who believe in physics this separation between past, present and future is only an illusion, however,tenacious."--- Albert Einstein

There is a gross misconception & understanding of Past, Present & Future.Your idea of space and time is determined by your neurological structure. The camouflage is so craftily executed and created by the inner self that you must, by necessity, focus your attention on your present physical reality.Time as you experience it is an illusion caused by your own physical senses and so it seems to you that one moment exists and is gone forever.

Understand, everything in the universe exists at ONE TIME simultaneously. The past is seldom what you remember it to be, for you have already rearranged it from the instant of any given event. The past is being constantly recreated by each individual as attitudes and associations change. This is an actual recreation, not a symbolic one. The child is indeed still within the man, but he is not the child that 'was', for even the child within the man constantly changes. Therefore every action in your present affects actions you call past. It is possible to react in the past to an event that has not occurred, and to be influenced by your own future.It is also possible for an individual to react in the past to an event in the future, which in your terms, may never occur.

No event is predestined. Any given event can be changed not only before and during but after its occurrence. The individual is hardly at the mercy of past events, for he changes them constantly. He is hardly at the mercy of future events, for he changes these not only before but after their happening. An individuals future actions are not dependent upon a concrete finished past, for such a past never existed. The past is as real as the future, no more or less. There is a part of you that is NOT locked within physical reality, and that part of you knows that there is only an Eternal Now. The part of you that knows is the whole self, your inner and outer ego (all that you are).